Nuts
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Vala has to pass a different psych evaluation to be able to move off base. Daniel, Cam, Sam, Carolyn and Teal'c will speak on her behalf. D/Vness included.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Nuts

Author: spacegypsy1

Word count: Chapter One - 2000

Rated: PG-13

Number of Chapters: Four

~0i0~

Vala has to pass a different psych evaluation to be able to move off base. Daniel, Cam, Sam, Carolyn and Teal'c will speak on her behalf. D/Vness included.

Chapter One

~0i0~

Personal notes of Lt. Col.(Dr.) Xavier E. Holiday, USAF, Psychiatrist, Washington, DC. And yes, they call me Doc Holiday. My assignment came from Homeworld Security and the White House. They want someone not connected to _the_ project. An outsider that can think like an outsider. Intriguing.

I'm staring at a Top Secret file, one of several, that has been so redacted, each page looks like a giant bar code. Flipping through the rest of the files, on those selected by Homeworld Security to speak on her behalf, I see the same thing.

The subject's name is Val. That's it, that's all I am to know. Each folder has a piece of paper paperclipped to the front with the following in this order. Two sessions with Val,(Female Civilian Contractor, weapons expert). After Val's last session the others come in no particular order. Oddly, no names are given. All that they informed of is: Three civilians. Two male and one female. Two USAF Lt Cols. One male, one female.

I have to confess that I can't quite understand the menagerie that makes up her support group, or what the hell these people do, or why Val isn't allowed off base. Most likely, the two colonels are involved in whatever she does. The civilians, however, are a mystery.

I received the files yesterday, so I've had little time to make some sense out of what small amount of information I do have. From what I can discern two of the civilians are a CMO, and an Archeologist, the other one a closed book, not even much information redacted or not.

I figured all of that out by putting the pieces together from all of the files. It wasn't easy but having a specialty in behavioral science, I have a keen eye for what others might think unimportant.

I was told by the very top brass at the very top of the brass that I am not to delve into her past or for that matter anyone's past but to evaluate how well Val can cope, on a personal level, in everyday life.

Nothing concerning anyone's 'day job' but life off work/base. Which of course is absurd, because one influences the other. I took the job anyway. Who wouldn't want the opportunity to do Top Secret work for the NORAD facility in Cheyenne Mountain?

Unfortunately, at this point, they are coming to me so I won't be visiting them there. The brass wants a completely unbiased opinion. As if THAT exists in reality!

~0i0~

**Session one of two. Personal notes. Subject Val.**

She entered cautiously and looked around, bottom lip tugged between her teeth.

I greeted her with, "Good morning."

Val appeared worried and said in an accent I couldn't quite put my finger on, "You don't have one of those awful lie... I mean misunderstanding detectors do you?"

"No, nothing like that. Please have a seat."

Taking a cautious step forward she eyed me suspiciously, whispering, "What about the paper game thingies with the nonsensical blobs?"

"No. We're just here to talk." I gave her a warm smile and indicated the large overstuffed chair.

She sat. "Oh this is comfy, where'd you get it?"

From the beginning I was very interested in her story. She's an attractive woman with dark hair, slim, who carries herself confidently, even if her concerns and wording seem odd.

I answered her question. "I don't know where they got it. It was here when I moved into this office."

Val nodded in understanding looking out over the Washington skyline.

"Alright, let's get started." When I spoke, Val turned back to me bobbing her head so I proceeded. "I know you're instructed not to talk about what you do, or names of the others who will speak on your behalf, and no naming anyone, place or thing connected to where you work." I paused, once again thinking how absurd this job is, then asked, "How are you doing?"

"Okay, but I'm still getting over my date from last night."

"Oh?" I prompted, amazed at how quickly she was ready to talk.

"I only went because I think I need to move on. Or maybe I wanted to make someone jealous. It ended not so bad, since we had frozen yogurt with some kind of nuts. Door nuts, or floor nuts or something like that."

It took me a minute but I finally got it, "Wall? Walnuts?"

"That's it!"

"You've never had walnuts?"

"Wellllll, no. My teammates… ah, well that's not right, I mean my friends, mates but not team or married kind, and not like work mates because we can't discuss that, but like friends, they all eat nuts, so I've had a limited sampling. One of the guys, one that I want to... umm, anyway, he likes rocks and statues, books and digging in ruins and eats pistachio nuts. And... ah… the other one that's sorta kinda like our boss… we have a competition to see who has flown the most odd ships and I'm way ahead of him, he likes pecans."

She paused for a half second breath before prattling on. "Muscles, you don't know him, and that's not his name, he has a scary past – like, but not _like_, me, but he understands me but I think I drive him as crazy as I do Pistachio, but I'm not attracted to Muscles, who eats peanuts, raw, roasted, salted, or otherwise prepared. And then, my best friend, well female friend, the brainy one that theorizes about eeevveerrry thing, she likes almonds and my other best female friend is a doctor."

Nodding almost continuously, I affected a professional countenance, with much effort during her apparently unending speech.

"Well," Val sighed, "oddly, so is the one that eats almonds and the one that eats pistachios, but the doctor, is a CMO doctor who eats macadamia. I just found out what CMO means a month ago and I thought it was GMO, like Genetically Modified Organism, which we have all at some point had experience ourselves with genetic modification. So no. Never had walnuts. They're very good."

I'm surprised I followed that entire conversation and in the process garnered a lot of information. "That's it?"

"Yes. Very good is very good."

"No. I mean the date."

"We didn't eat dates."

"The DATE." I said, thinking, 'THIS is the weapons expert'?

"Oh, well then, the date just wanted to get into my panties. It was awkward. He was upset because he thought I was easy, or so the rumor is that I'm easy. You know, like I've had sex with a lot of people. I haven't had sex since my wedding night. I'm divorced now. I think. Everyone wants to get in my panties except the one I want in my panties. Isn't that always the way it goes? Or so I'm told."

She wiggled deeper into the plush chair.

I remained astonished at her rapidly fired explanation. "So how does that make you feel?"

"That you can't know the names or about the chair?"

Her candid talk followed by her sudden effort to change the subject, or a lack of following the conversation, had me hesitating a few seconds – but I think Val is clever, has a strong and quick mind that works in self-defense. I also think she is definitely NOT from around here. "No, the rumors." I said.

"Oh. Pfft! Nothing new. My team doesn't think that, at least not since I … well, not in a while, and the General, the doctor and the gate guy and a few others know I'm not like that. I can't stop the rumors."

"Very true."

"Actually, I don't think many think that now that they all know me. At first it was really hard, since, well, I came from... way, way out of town and don't always understand their idioms...meanings."

I laughed and told her: "You'll catch on. It's not like you're from outer space."

"Oh. That's so nice of you to say, thank you. See, I can fit in. Especially if, if HE, the pistachio guy, invites me to share his apartment. I think he's thinking about it. He's said some things that make me think he might. You know, just as a roommate."

"Ah, I see. This man..."

"The pistachio nuts guy."

"Yes, Pistachio, he's the one that you want to..."

"Oh, yeah. Him." She shrugged her shoulders forward and grinned wide with her teeth clamped and eyebrows high.

I jotted notes and when I looked up I realized she watched me warily. "Alright." I said. "It says here that you are a weapons expert."

"Not just weapons. I'm an expert at procuring things - Top Secret things - that are difficult to procure."

"Like a cat burglar?"

Her eyes grow unusually large. "No! We can't have cats on base. I would love one, and I wouldn't have to burgle it, I could get it at a shelter. But, I have to go way out of town, a lot, making it more difficult to have one, even if I was allowed to."

"Way, out of town?"

"Yes, way, way out of town. Way far."

Wherever she's from it must be completely off the grid. Surely she's seen movies about cat burglars. "You do watch movies?"

"Um hmm. Since I've been living on base. We have team movie night. Mus... Peanut has over 1000. He's our very own private Red Box except he's kind of a golden brown."

"You've never seen _To Catch A Thief_?"

Grimacing, she perfected a shiver indicating her distaste. "I absolutely refused to watch that!"

"I see. As a weapons expert do you carry firearms when you aren't on the job?"

"No. Sometimes I like to stash a zat...er, a... well, no."

"I think since they have acknowledged you as a weapons expert you can tell me what you 'stash'."

"No. I can't. It's just a funny thing like a... taser."

I nodded, "Perfectly understandable. Now, let me see if I understand something. The, ah, nuts you mentioned, they're who you work with, aren't they?"

"Oh. Er. Maybe. Except for the doctor, the macadamia, we're a team. I can say that? Or is that what I wasn't supposed to tell you? The work/team thingie. I think you might have led me into saying that. Is it okay?"

"Sure. Let me ask you this. You have feelings for one of the people on your team, right?"

"Did I say that?"

"Do you?"

"Oh. Ah. Nope, a, a guy, a guy in the kitchen. NO! He works at Starbucks, he's crazy about coffee."

"Val," I looked at her panicked expression and gave her an honest smile. "Don't worry, our conversations will remain private."

"Hmm, well, maybe I do."

"Pistachio? You're attracted to him and would like to take your relationship with him further. To be intimate?"

"Intimate! I'm crazy in love with him. I would like to kidnap him, which by the way I should have done the first time I met him. But yes, I'd like to be intimate for days and days on into eternity... Am I in trouble for saying that?"

"No. That's not what we're here to talk about."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Hard to explain. Don't worry, your secret is safe. Nothing you say will get you in trouble. This isn't about what you say about work."

"I can't be crazy because I already passed that test and I'm a standing up member of my team. I mean upstanding."

"You're doing fine. I only want to help you get out on your own if you're ready."

"I'm soooooo ready."

~0i0~

End Session

~TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two – Nuts

Personal notes of Lt. Col.(Dr.) Xavier E. Holiday, USAF, Psychiatrist.

I have thoroughly gone over all my notes, official and personal, concerning Val, as well as tried to see if I missed anything in the files that were sent to me.

Although she is 'quirky', and no I wouldn't mention that in my official report, she appears to be otherwise quite stable, interesting, personable, and probably more able to live in a normal environment then most clients I have dealt with.

She is not shy when speaking about personal things, she will however jump from subject to subject. She manages to take her comments to the edge and bring them back to where I'm not always convinced I understood correctly. As I have mentioned before she's clever, actually quite brilliant. It's a coping mechanism, long standing I'm sure, perfected for so long that it's her natural mode of conversation now. I really would like to figure that out.

**Session two of two. Personal notes. Subject Val.**

Val arrived on time, took a seat, pulled her legs up into the chair, rubbed her hands together, and said, "I'm ready, shoot."

"Good. How are you today?"

"Great! What are we talking about this time?"

As I am jotting down notes I told her, "Since I can't ask about your past, before coming to America and living at the base, I want to know what types of feelings you experienced during your past."

"Horror."

It took great effort not to whip my head up or speak with concern. "Like?" I prompted.

"Like being trapped inside some evil manipulating thing and watching unspeakable, violent acts."

I have been doing this for a long time and was surprised that my heart began to race. It was simply and honestly stated - the way she said it - that held something remarkably profound. She is like no other combat veteran I have ever worked with. I waited a few seconds to be sure my voice didn't betray something untoward. "Alright. How do you feel about that now?"

"It wasn't me, so I deal with it."

I almost can't think of my next question I am so wrapped up in her previous response. "Any nightmares?"

"At first. Not so much now."

"And how do you deal with nightmares?"

"I go to Pistachio's quarters until I fall asleep."

"So you sleep with him?"

"Just sleep. When I first settled into the base, after I was accepted on... I mean here, and I had many nightmares I would sit against his door and finally fall asleep for a while. Then he figured out I was doing that and he watched for me and let me in. I'd sleep on top of his covers. He'd cover me with another blanket. I'd sleep a few hours and leave. That was the first year or so."

"And now?"

"Now I rarely have nightmares. Only one so far in the last few months. I'd gotten to the point, eventually, that I just knocked on his door, he'd open it without a word, and I'd just snuggled into his bed right next to him and he'd ask how I am and talk to me because he understood and then I'd fall asleep. When I'd wake up he'd be gone and I always found him asleep in his office. Nothing happened, I mean sexually, he's not fond of me in that way."

"Maybe it's the opposite?" Surprised by her look of awe, I knew she never considered that. "If he cares for you, he wouldn't want to take advantage of you while you're in a vulnerable state. If he were indifferent to you in that way he would have slept there. Like a friend or brother. Like in the beginning."

"Like pecans and peanuts." Val pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, dark brows scrunching downward, as if considering that.

I was beginning to understand the other... nuts and their roles in her life. When she didn't say anything else, I continued. "What are some other personal concerns?"

"That's it."

She was holding back so I pushed on. "What would you do if you live off base and have a nightmare?"

"Be upset, call him... call Pistachio."

"And if he's not there? What if he leaves the job, moves away? Or if something happens to him?"

"Well, I could call Almonds, but she's way too far away, calls don't go through to where she is very fast, could take days and by then I'd be fine. I can't call Macadamia because she'd send the SFs to pick me up. Peanuts would worry, rush right over and insist on taking me to see Macadamia and Pecans would ground me for weeks and send me to Macadamia AND to the stink... er, sink?"

"Shrink?"

"Right, sorry, I still get things mixed up." Sighing deeply, her head went back to rest on the chair. "I'll cope. I always have. I always will. It would be sad, so sad, if something happened to him. But I like being happy, being safe and I'd want to get back there if I got all out of whack about him, I'd get back there at some point. I like my job. My old life is like a false memory.

"I don't want to think about him not being around. Our job can be dangerous, I'm not so naive to think he, or anyone of us is completely safe, or will always be here. I mean if he is, he will always be there for me. I know that. I need to remember I know that."

There it is. The gist of it. These Nuts, work with her on some Top Secret, dangerous job. Possibly for the Air Force. I wonder if it has to do with UFOs? Interesting. "You're not afraid to live alone?" I asked.

"No. If I become afraid I can always come back and live on base. I need some sunshine. I want to learn how to cook. I want to find someone to..." Her voice caught and I realized she was holding back tears.

"Go on, Val. Tell me, that's what I'm here for."

"I'm in love with him, the Pistachio nut guy. But he likes me as a friend. I'm pretty sure, or I was pretty sure that's all. And I have to get past this thing I have for him and find someone to share my life with. Someone else to love. I'm not so different than all of you. You people here on... in this part of the world." She sat forward, "I don't care to ever live my old life again. I don't have a problem with vacuuming... well, it's weird and scary... vacuuming, but I can do it! I can drive now. And I can shop, even for groceries. I don't want to fly around all the time and never know where I am going. Or who's coming after me. I know the risks, Doc Holiday, I really do. It's not like I haven't been snatched off the streets before, or more correctly out of a restaurant. But we don't have that kind of problem anymore. I doubt anybody would come after me now. I want windows. And a kitten."

"That is all very normal. Except for the being snatched part."

"So you think I passed?"

"I think you're fine. I have some notes to work with and I have to see the others starting tomorrow." I gave her a big smile. "Don't worry, Val, don't worry."

She stood up. "I can go now?"

"You don't have anything else you want to talk about?"

"Not that I can talk about to you." she grinned.

I knew she was holding something back. Probably about Pistachio."What about money? Furniture? Things like that?"

"I'm hoping Pistachio comes through with an offer. If not, well, I'll figure it out. I suppose I should move on, but if he asks I'm saying yes to being a roomie, and I'll work on the getting over him later. So, that's it, I can go... now?"

"Yes, you can go."

End Val's Sessions:

TBC~


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three - Nuts

Personal notes of Lt. Col.(Dr.) Xavier E. Holiday, USAF, Psychiatrist.

Subject Val. Support Group:

~0i0~

I have an idea on how to figure out who is who. Nuts. I'll try to match up the nut to the person. Pistachio is the one Val has a thing for. He sounds like an archeologist or geologist which matches up with my suspicions. What an archeologist or geologist is doing with the rest is beyond my scope of knowledge at this point.

I know I can figure this out. At some point. Peanuts should be easy to spot. Pecans is her or their boss or team leader – he's probably the Air Force Colonel, – Val referred to him as 'he', so not the female Air Force Colonel, Almonds. I admit I don't have a clue as to who Almonds is or what she has to do with all of this. And I can't figure out why the CMO – Macadamias - is a part of this, either. With her so called support group coming, I should learn a lot from all of... the nuts.

**Group Session One:**

I squelched a chuckle when he walked in. No doubt, 'Muscles', meaning he's the one that likes Peanuts.

The man is solid muscle, but not overly so. And, truthfully, he did have a tad bit of a gold tone.

"Hello, please have a seat." I said sort of doing a sweep of the room past chairs and a couch. He chose the large overstuffed chair as Val had. Most do. He settled into it quite well. "Nuts?" I offered indicating the line-up of bowls on the front of my desk.

"I am not hungry."

I nodded, undeterred. "Do you have a favorite nut?"

"Val."

I laughed and his lips twitched.

"I enjoy all peanuts, Doctor Holiday, especially Cajun boiled peanuts. They are often difficult to acquire."

"I never think of nuts as being for hunger. These peanuts are freshly roasted and salted with Himalayan Pink salt. Have some?"

"I see, then yes, I will have some peanuts."

We each took a few nuts, then settled back.

He watched me intently, and I offered up, "How do you like to spend time with Val?"

"Movies."

"Oh, okay, which ones?"

"All. She likes romantic comedies and documentaries on the environment. I like Star Wars."

"Anything else?"

"Dakara."

"I don't know that one."

"Of course not, it is a place. Way, way out of town."

"Okay, is that where you and or Vala is from?"

"No. She often enjoys accompanying me when I go there. I like to go there."

"So you live on base?"

"I do."

"How's that going?"

"Well."

"Why don't you tell me, without revealing anything top secret, what you think about Val that would support her bid to move off base."

"She is strong, resilient, kind, skilled, focused when necessary. A very brave woman. A warrior, few can fly any ship found or procured as well as she. She can live amongst the peoples of this area, or anywhere ever in the vast universe, and she can fit in. There is no reason she should not be allowed the freedoms that she has fought hard to protect for all."

"Good. Nicely put. So, what would you wish for her future?"

"That she moves in with... someone she admires. That she marries him and has many children and lives a long and happy life."

"And for yourself?"

"I am not the subject of this meeting."

"Right. What else can you say on Val's behalf?"

"She is capable of living alone in your crazy world like any other born to it." Peanuts stood, took the remaining peanuts, nodded politely, and left.

~End Session.

~0I0~

**Group Session Two:**

I'm a bit suspicious of a CMO for NORAD. What the hell goes on down there? Anyway, the doctor arrived next – I knew because of the nuts.

Spitfire! That's all I could see when she flounced in the door demanding, "Why am I here?"

"You tell me." I answered.

"I was ordered to!"

"So was I. Have a seat."

"This isn't going to take long is it? I have a lot to do." She plopped down in the big chair, dark eyes sparking, lips pursed.

"Then let's get to it. Nuts?" I indicated the lineup.

"Whadda you got? Oh, Macadamia. Yum. I'll have some of those."

"How are you doing, today?"

"This isn't about me. But, I'm fine. I'm always fine. Everyday I'm fine."

I pushed the bowl of Macadamia nuts closer, towards her. "I'd say you were on the defensive today."

Ah there it was, the long silence as she stares out the window.

"It's just my personality, or didn't they tell you?" Finally she looked back. "I really am fine and I love my job."

"Do you interact with Val only when necessary or do you interact if you are not at work? When you are both not at work? Somewhere together or separate?"

"You mean there's something called 'not at work'?"

Her smile was dazzling.

"For some," I say, grinning. "IF you have time off what do you do?'

"Sleep. Shop, dinner, movies, and dancing with Vala, that's her real name. Oops." she adds, rolling her eyes. "Sometimes our other friend joins us. We're a tripod, at least we used to be, we're all so busy now. I also skype my mom."

"Does your mother live in the same way, way out of town place that Val talks about?"

"Oh, heavens no!" She laughed and I grinned. "My mother spends a lot of time back home, in Viet Nam where she met and married my father. They're divorced and seeing each other off and on again."

"And your father?"

She took another handful of Macadamia nuts, "You don't know?"

I just shook my head.

"He runs the base. Look, let's get to the reason we're both here. I have to tell you that there is nothing that should preclude Vala from living off base. The only, and I mean ONLY reason she has not been granted permission is bureaucracy or bull shit as I call it. She's been on this plan..., ah, area for years. What the hell could they be worried about? Do they think some hideous monster is going to burst out of her chest and kill everyone on the planet? Stupid!

"This whole thing... this using you as an outsider... is to show us that we are wrong and they are right. I can assure you they, those who sought you out, are arrogant enough to be certain you will find fault with Vala. You're a puppet! Because she's quirky and, and, well, from way, way out of town you probably..."

I held a finger up and she stopped her rant. "I know she's a bit eccentric, which isn't something I need to report, and they picked the wrong person if they think I perceive Val..."

"Vala. Her name is Vala and there is no reason you can't know that!" She gave me a cold stare and I dared not reprimand her.

"Perceive _Vala_, as incapable of fitting in. She is the epitome of unique and her personal life skills are extremely well balanced."

Doctor Macadamia looked down, as if worried. Then, head still down, those dark eyes looked up and held my attention. "I think I may have blurted out too much info. I was speaking metaphorically, of course."

"No problem. You got your point across."

~End Session.

~TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Personal notes of Lt. Col.(Dr.) Xavier E. Holiday, USAF, Psychiatrist.

Subject Val. Support Group

Val is Vala, a little less used name I'm sure, but not something I can google and peg her to... which I didn't because I was cautioned not to try to get information on anyone. Simply, as an outsider, give a recommendation on Val, as to her emotional stability for living off base. That's it. That's my nice extra income job. Still one has to wonder at all the secrecy.

The CMO, Macadamia, is not afraid to buck the system (or her father) and is one of Vala's best friends. So the female USAF Lt Col coming soon has to be Almonds. And of course there's Peanut/Muscles, and his notes and session tells me nothing about him, other than he is a very nice man and seems protective of Vala.

Today I might be able to tag the rest, because only three remain. Not sure who is showing up today but I know it's one of three... I know the woman is Almond and if a male comes first I'll know who is Pistachio and who is Pecan.

**Group Session Three**

Okay. This guy must be Pistachio. A handsome man. Dressed casual, jeans and a black T-shirt, very relaxed, not the least bit nervous, grinning and blue eyes smiling.

"Hey, Doc." He said coming in the door. The man went straight to the big chair, grinned, and eyed the nuts.

"Have some. What's your favorite?"

"I like most all of 'em."

"Oh. The pecans are fresh shelled and shipped from Alabama, the pistachios are..."

"Whoa! Fresh shelled from 'bama. My favorite. Not fond of pistachios, work with a guy who loves 'em."

"So, how are you?"

"I suppose you could say my job is drivin' me nuts."

"How so?"

"Oh, you know... nothing I wanna talk about."

"Top Secret?"

"Hardly. Two co-workers are sorta spinning me around and around. I think they're attracted to each other but won't take the leap. Or one won't. Then if they do take a leap, that puts me in a weird place. Anyhow, like I said I don't wanna talk about it. Don't even know why I brought it up. Guess you're that good at your job."

"Alright, thanks, I think. How long have you known Val?"

"Long enough to know she's a smart woman with enough sense to live off base. I don't get this whole scheme the brass has to evaluate her to see if she's capable of living in the world like the rest of us. That's just damn crazy. Did she blab a lot of top secret, secrets?"

"No. Of course not, she..."

"Then explain why they think she shouldn't be out and about. Do you think she's a risk to National Security?"

"I do not. I think she is stable. Resourceful. And capable."

"Then my work is done. I have a few things I have to do since I'm in Washington anyway. Thanks for the chat."

He was gone in a flash. And he was right. This is just damn crazy.

~End Session

**Group Session Four**

I was making 'official' notes when the door opened and I heard a familiar voice, "Hi El!"

"Holy Hannah! Sam!" I jumped up and met her half way for a long overdue hug. "How long has it been?"

"Too long."

"Yeah, you sorta dropped off the grid. What the hell do you people do?"

"Hmm, can't say, yet. How have you been?"

"Great. Busy. Jeez, Sam, I'm so happy to see you. Come on, you know me, what's going on?"

"We'll talk again. I can't tell you right now, I'd have to shoot you."

"Is that supposed to be funny?" We stood there grinning at each other. It was so wonderful seeing her again. My best friend in basic training. We tried to stay in contact but things – life – sent us in separate directions.

"Why didn't they tell me..."

"_They" _Sam drew the w_ord out, "_didn't ask if I knew who you were. I didn't tell them."

"Surely you can tell me what you guys do?"

"Nope, I'm here to tell you Vala's wonderful. She can take care of herself as well as the rest of us. Enough of that. Sorry I didn't come sooner. Silly bureaucrats, and my job."

"Way, way out of town?"

"You have no idea how far. Worry not. I'll say a word to some people I know and get some amazing details released to you. You deserve to know and you can handle it. Now, let's go get some lunch, something adult to drink, and catch up on you and what I can tell you about me."

As I followed her out I found the courage to broach a theory. "She's from outer space isn't she... or deep, deep, under earth's core? Like in a sci-fi movie? You know how I love sci-fi."

"How 'bout some Cosmo's, El? I know this great place..."

End Session

**Epilog:**

~0i0~

Ending thoughts of Dr. Xavier E. Holiday. USAF. Psychiatrist.

I'm standing here in General Landry's back yard with a glass of champagne in my hand as I watch the bride and groom wander around talking to everyone. The bride is stunningly lovely in her lacy, hippie-like full length ecru dress, raven hair tossed up and entwined with tiny white flowers. The groom is dashing in a dark suit, an eye matching blue shirt, no tie. I see what she sees in him. He's close to blinding. And I never thought I would say this, but I really would like someone to look at me the way he looks at her. And Colonel Mitchell isn't so bad himself. I think I might check around and see if he's with a date, as in with someone not the fruit kind.

I have a new job at the SGC, my name is etched in brass on the door. Dr. Xavier Elaine Holiday. I'm the new staff psychiatrist. They call me Doc Holiday. The tripod is no longer a tripod, it's a stable four legged table. Me, Vala, Sam and Carolyn.

I gave Vala a thumbs up report, even after Daniel's little reveal. And the IOA shot her down, but she was unconcerned since she'd moved in with Daniel the day he left my office.

Daniel. What a revelation. I mean, before I got full clearance, Sam hinted, but Daniel delivered such an amazing look into what I never could have figured out... prior to my orientation for my new job.

The final session went something like this:

"Hello, I'm ..." I attempted to speak as he walked in the door. He didn't let me finish. He came and stood at the front of my desk, eyed the Pistachios for a mere twitch of an eye and blurted out in rapid fire not unlike Vala herself.

"Hi, there, Dr. Holiday. I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson, Archeologist, Linguist, collector of ancient and alien languages, artifacts and some other stuff. I'm here to tell you that Vala does NOT need to live off base by herself! She would not survive in the city alone. She's prone to making crazy snap decisions in an effort to help. Bad things can happen when she does that. Though sometimes good things happen, like saving our asses... but... when it's bad, it's really, really bad."

He drew a nervous breath, and from the expression on his face I could tell he cares deeply for Vala. And... he is lying about her not being able to live alone.

"Hell," he corrected himself before I could wheedle it out of him, "honestly, probably she'd be fine. Actually, she and the roaches will be the sole survivors of the inevitable destruction of Earth, not by aliens, but ourselves.

"Vala Mal Doran is too trusting, too anxious to help, heal, hug, she's from a planet so far out you wouldn't even know it existed. As in 'we are not alone'. You, me, and anyone from this planet cannot imagine what she has been through."

I almost choked when I swallowed, because, I believed him. About the planet. Or I wanted to believe him.

He continued speaking fast, and I can see how these two get along. "A few years ago Vala hijacked a large spaceship we have, I was accidentally left on it after she sent the others through a device to a safe place. Nice pirate, eh? Vala's an amazing thief, or was. Well, still is when we need her to be. We fought, me and Vala, on that ship. I mean fists, arms, legs, fire extinguishers, but eventually I got her with a zat shot. Small alien type gun sorta like a super, duper taser or stun gun that can also kill – burn you to ash. I stunned her and she dropped like a stone, or more like a melting popsicle. BUT... not before she'd kissed me, and then headbutted me when I was all dazed and confused."

At this point I was fighting to hold onto the small smile that threatened to turn into a giant open mouth.

"That was it. I fell for her then. Literally and figuratively. I recovered quickly and after I zatted her, I locked her in the brig. Almost got myself killed by her weird alien space pirate friends she planned on selling our billion dollar space ship to. I had to let her out, or more correctly carry her out of lockup to help save our asses from snake heads, attacking. You know, like space battle attack. Then I locked her up again! And she escaped! Stole a ship that was in the ship.

"Lots more crazy stuff happened with Vala coming and going to and from earth and each time she went my heart just turned to more mush. The reason I fought so hard to not love her?

"Long story short. Fear of losing her for good. In the past a large ring was discovered in Egypt, 1928. Not knowing this, years later I had theorized Pyramids were landing pads for alien ships. I was right, by the way. Can't tell anyone. I got sucked into the Stargate program shortly after I got booted out of the 'credible archeology club'. I figured out how the ring worked. It's a really, huge, big ring. Dial constellations, i.e.- symbols. Walk through it, end up on another planet.

"I met a woman on the first mission through the Stargate long before Vala showed up. I loved her, married her, stayed on her planet, eventually lost her to an insane alien symbiote. Vala also was a host to one, another evil bitch, but luckily for her another race extracted it and she lived.

"Lots of horror. Lots and lots for Vala. And my wife. And me, but not like them. The rest of Stargate Command where we work also suffered many losses.

"Anyhoo... I give up. I love Vala. I think she loves me. She's nuts. She drives me nuts. It's like mixing, mixing..."

"Walnuts and Pistachios?"

"Yeah. I'm tired of denying myself the joy she can give me, and what I can give her. I'm going to walk right out of here and ask her to marry me. She's in the waiting room. She insisted on accompanying me. That's how we do the dance. I grumble, she whines, I give in, she gets happy. I feel loved.

"She won't need to live alone off base, but I'm sure she'd be happy with a good report. If you tell anyone that I told you about the SGC and Vala and Teal'c... the big guy, tattoo on forehead, I'll get fired. Or shot for treason. Not a problem, but give me a heads up 'cause I need to get us off the planet. Our next off world mission is tomorrow, so I will sprint her away into hiding before the IOA finds her and locks her up in Area 51 and I am not kidding. Sam said I could trust you."

I sat stunned. I felt like I'd been shot with a silver bullet right between my well tweezed eyebrows - for all of five seconds. "Go. I have no knowledge of whatever it was you said. I didn't get to see the tattoo on the big guy, he wore a hat. Good luck, and I can guarantee you she does love you. No need to run off... er, world and hide. Congrats. Send me an invite. Go!"

~The End!


End file.
